Ctrl Shift Alone
This pandemic may have caused increased time alone time, possibly a little longer than expected. When you want to feel comfortable being alone, one of the most trying situations for many of us is learning how to be alone. Your automatic negative thoughts may start to kick in and your mind may interpret spending time alone as, “Nobody wants to be with me,” “I must be a loser,” or “I feel unsafe when I’m alone.” Yet it’s wise for us to get comfortable with solitude, quiet, and aloneness. We can find peace and time for our solitary pursuits when we’re by ourselves. There are plenty of reasons to get comfortable with being alone. If you’re struggling to cope with being by yourself, try incorporating these strategies:
1. Acknowledge that alone time is different. No one else is present for you to watch or listen to. You have no one to talk to in person. Being alone is in a class all by itself.
2. It’s okay to be alone. Simply tell yourself that everyone’s alone from time to time and there’s really nothing unusual about it. Recognizing and accepting solitude as part of the human condition will help you adjust to the experience.
3. Consider being alone as a time to focus on yourself. Learn to cherish your alone time. It belongs only to you and you can think or do whatever you like during those times.
‣ While you’re alone, ask yourself what you hope to achieve within the next six months or year and make exciting plans to move forward toward your dreams.
‣ Another great use for time alone is to take advantage of the time to engage in activities that bring you joy. Perhaps you would like to pursue a new hobby or art. You’ll reap happiness, serenity and contentment from your time alone.
‣ Whatever you decide, even if you just want to take a nap in your alone time, you’ll feel rejuvenated and ready to face the world when you take time just for you. You can change your thinking about spending time by yourself.
One key to a creating a balanced life is learning to take advantage of time you have alone to do as you wish. It will help for when you reconnect with others.
Are you feeling alone and not sure how to embrace this season, let’s connect.
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With Balance & Wellness,
Shayla Peterson, LCSW, LISW-CP
Ctrl Shift Feelings
Get unstuffed and stop sticking. Let's take today to address our feelings and being mindful of our emotions. The goals is to notice and experience our emotions and allow them to come and go naturally. That means sometimes experiencing painful emotions without turning the pain into suffering. Emotional Suffering can be created by stuffing or sticking to our emotions, and that's out of BALANCE.
When Stuffing our emotions, we bottle up l, ignore and reject your emotions. Emotional Stuffers try to push their emotions away. Just because we stuff or ignore our emotions does make them go away. It causes emotional build up, leading to feeling overwhelm and possible breakdown.
On the opposite end of the spectrum, is Sticking. When we stick to our feelings, we hold on to emotions and try to keep them around. When we emotional stick, we replay stressful situations and experience the emotions over and over again. Sticking prevent are emotions to natural come and go and never provide them with the opportunity to fade. Thus leading emotions to Stick around longer than hey natural would.
Create Balance by actually feeling your Feelings. Feeling your feelings serves as a middle group between stuffing and sticking. Trying noticing your feelings without holding on to them. Observe and describe your emotions, your sensations, thoughts and urges. Take note of how intensity comes and go. When a new emotions is ready to come in, let the emotion go and notice the new feeling.
Are you Stuffing or Sticking?
Let’s Chat about your feelings.
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With Balance & Wellness,
Shayla
Ctrl Shift Grounding
Grounding Techniques to Reduce Stress during COVID-19
Grounding yourself in times of Stress during COVID-19.
During this time of uncertainty, people are experiencing increased stress relating to fear of illness, quarantine routine, job layoffs, milestones events being cancelled or loss of your ideal imagine of how events will be happen. These factors may have a lasting effects on during the years to come on ones financial, physical, emotional and mental health. I wanted to share one of my most use skills that I share with clients that I work with to reduce their stress levels not just in times of uncertainty but throughout other stressors in life.
Grounding Techniques are things that you can do to help you feel solid, soothed and connected to yours surroundings. It involves you deliberating using your attention to an experience that you are having that is not threatening. Incorporating grounding strategies are good for people who have a hard time staying mindful. Using grounding strategies incorporates your whole brain oppose to using only one side which could lead us to missing key information.
Incorporating grounding strategies can help you feel calm when you feel your stress is overwhelming you and break your “fight, flight or freeze” response that you may experience. During COVID, you may have already experienced these responses. I will share some tips with you that you can incorporate immediately to work towards stress relief.
Imagine yourself as big tree. Stretch your arms up to the sky and imagine branches and leaves. Dig your feet into the floor and imagine them growing roots.
Take off your shoes and walk slowly around the room, feeling connection between your feet and the carpet with each step Feel your toes, your sole, and your heel connecting with the carpet.
Describe three things in the room in terms of sensory qualities (color, shape, texture, size, smell, etc.)
Shake your body. Begin my wiggling your toes, then your ankles, your lower legs and them move to your upper legs. Then do the same with your arms, hands and fingers.
Breathe in for a count of 4, hold for a count of 4, breathe out for a count of 4, and then pause for a count of 4. Try to slow your breathing down with each time that your practice.
Imagine being a peaceful place, close to nature. Visualize yourself at the beach or overlooking the bay or in the forest or hiking on a trail or in a park or garden.
THERAPIST FAVORITE : Drink a cup of tea slowly. First feel the warmth of the cup. Then smell the aroma. Notice the color and texture of the tea Take a small sip and swirl it around your mouth. Now swallow. Notice the taste and feeling of the tea as it flow down your throat.
Suck on a peppermint (a sunday classic) or smell eucalyptus.
Draw, paint or color.
Rub your pet, hold them in your lap, notice their breathing and feel their warmth.
Take a warm bath or showing, cuddle in blanket and slip on fuzzy socks.
Listen to soothing music
Go for a walk in the neighborhood.
Once you start to feel grounded and solid, you can look at the stressful situation and your emotions about COVID-19 without feeling so overwhelming and chaotic. Grounding signal to particular part of your brain (the amygdala to be exact) that you are safe in the present moment, allowing it put a pause on your “fight, flight or freeze” response.
I hope that you find these grounding strategies help as we continue to face this crisis. Email me at shayla@ctrlshiftbalance.com and let me know which one has been helpful for you. If you would to work through to addressing your “Fight, Flight or Freeze” during a pandemic, schedule a free 15 minute consultation.
Be Balanced & Grounded,
Shayla Peterson, LCSW
Ctrl Shift De-Stress
4 Tips to De-stressing During Life’s Most Trying Times
Difficult situations can leave you feeling worked up and hopeless all at the same time. Sometimes staying positive and calm may seem beyond tough. But in reality, it possible with a little effort.
You can confront your challenges head on, without breaking under pressure.
Developing your inner strength take practice. If you implement factor listed below, you can get a head start on journey towards building your resiliency to handle anything that comes your way.
Embrace your worth. Do you tend to come down hard on yourself as the reason for challenging experiences. Yet, truthfully, they may not be your fault at all of you have little to no control over it.
Embracing your own worth is extremely important so you do not wrongly persecute yourself and cause even more stress. We may have a role in some of trying situation, but some we may not. Letting yourself off the hook for the parts that are not yours is important also.
Face the situation on what it truly is and have the courage to believe, “it is not my fault.”
Believe in your ability to overcome the circumstances.
Be Optimistic. This too shall pass. Regardless of the seriousness of the situation you are confronted with, it will not last forever! It might be really rough right now. In fact, it might even be extreme. But focus on the end of the tunnel- where these is always light.
Take brief moments to put plans in plan for when the storm finally passes.
Lean on support from loved ones. Family and friends can keep you afloat during crises. Passing through life’s trying situations calmly and optimistically can seem tough as if you are going through it alone. But it may not feel that way when you keep you loved ones close.
Give the details of the situation, both the good and the bad.
Trust that you will get a unbiased Point of View from your supportive loved one, even if you do not life everything they say.
Acknowledging various strengths display from your supportive loved one is the past will help you build your strength to deal with the situation calmly.
Breathe Deeply. Deep breathing on a regular basis can really help to relax you! Staying calm and positive is as much about mental toughness as it is about being a physically at ease. Give it try and feel the difference both mentally and physically.
During stressful times, you strengths lies within you. Try practicing these tips and you will trust that you have the ability to overcome whatever you face even long after COVID-19 passes. Day by day, you will start to resolve your challenges head on with confidence, regardless of how bad they may seem. You will start to feel stronger and be better emotionally prepared for life and manifest balance. De-stressing is not hard when you have the know of how to prevent stress and the skills to dissolve it as it occurs.
If you find it hard to resolve some of your current stress, let’s connect for a PAY-WHAT-YOU-CAN Mental Wellness Check at today. April is Stress Awareness Month, visit my instagram page for tips and tools all month long.
Be Balance & Well,
Shayla Peterson, LCSW