Ctrl Shift CommUnication

Let's talk about communication!

This holiday season, you will likely be interacting a little more with family members. Maybe you will talk with relatives you do not see very often. Thanksgiving and Christmas can be magical, but they can also be extremely stressful and anxiety inducing. 

Before you find yourself three hours deep in a heated political debate, take some time to think about the dynamics of communication. 

Do any of these healthy/unhealthy communication traits seem familiar to you? Identifying the presence of interpersonal dynamics is important in relationships. 

If you recognize some of these unhealthy responses in your own communication, now is the time to keep yourself accountable. 

Try and replace a single unhealthy tendency with something healthy. For example, if you tend to interrupt people when they are speaking, instead, be extra intentional with your listening. 

If you recognize unhealthy communication coming from a family member, understand that they may not be aware of the damage such actions can cause. Kindly share how their behavior makes you feel, and understand that it may take time for them to fully comprehend the weight of their influence.

Family time can be stressful, but it doesn't have to be impossible this holiday season!

If you are overwhelmed by the stress, let’s connect for a consultation. If you found this helpful, share this with friend or colleague.

With Balance & Wellness,

Shayla Peterson, LCSW, LISW-CP

Ctrl Shift Fire

When your anxiety shows up, picture it as fire and you have three choices:

Throw more logs in the fire (feed)

Watch the fire (passive)

Put out the fire (interrupt the cycle)

When we add more logs to the fire, you are thinking more anxious thoughts. Those logs can look like catastrophic thinking, all or nothing thinking or mental filtering.  Often times leading yourself to a scenario that may not happen.

When you sit back and watch the fire, you may not throw logs in the fire, but you not making moves to prevent it from spreading.  This can lead to feelings of panic out of nowhere. 

Put the Fire out, this is the opportunity to provide you with relief from your anxiety.  Take note that your relief may not be immediate or perfect.  You can reduce the escalation with tools.  This is the time to slow down, check in with yourself and slow down your thoughts:

1. Write your thoughts down. Schedule time to acknowledge them. 

2. Write down your feelings about the thoughts. Spend time with them.

3. Re-frame your thoughts. Educate them.

4. Recognize the small wins of relief.  

5. Repeat again.

Will you add more logs, watch it or put out the fire of anxiety?

Ctrl Shift Situations

Sometimes work, caring for a sick or elderly family member, having financial trouble, or other concerns can cause you to feel stressed. It's common to get stressed out when something like that is a large part of your life, but you can find constructive ways to deal with the concerns you're facing so you can keep your peace.

When you end up in a situation or around a person that causes you stress, focus on the things that really matter. Is it worth getting upset about? If it really is worth worrying about, what can you do to make things smoother, ease the worry, or change the situation?

Consider these options to reduce your stress:

1. Seek solutions. Talk with the people in your life who cause you stress to look for solutions together.

2. Let go. Letting go of a negative relationship that's troublesome, problematic, or just plain unhealthy can benefit both of you if you can't turn it into a positive force in your life.

3. Switch jobs. If your working conditions are volatile or consistently upset you regardless of what you do to rectify the situation, looking for another job or switching departments may be the answer you're looking for.

4. Ask for help. Seek help with difficult situations, regardless of what kind of challenge you face. Confiding in a trusted friend, family member, or therapist can help relieve your stress and sort out solutions.

5. Take time to de-stress. Schedule time to relax, let go of problems, and recharge. Do your favorite activities or hobbies in your "me" time, meditate, or just take a nap - whatever works best to relax you.

For some people, getting rid of - or at least lessening - mental stress is easier than it is for others. If you find that you're having serious trouble letting go of stress in your life, see a professional who can help you. 

Ask yourself how will my life be different in 90 days with the choices that I make today?

Above all, commit to living a more peaceful life. The peace and joy you deserve are right around the corner. When you make a conscious decision to start letting go of mental stress, you'll be better able to see the joy in your life again.

Be Well & Unstressed,

Shayla Peterson

Ctrl Shift Rest

When we find ourselves in storms of life, it often takes a while to regain our perspective. Remember that REST is an anchor for you. Think about when the week is filled with meetings, projections and running errands after work; rest allows us to spend time alone and reassess our priorities. On the other hand, if we are constantly on the go not giving our mind and body rest, that is counterproductive to our Mental Wellness.  Possibly leading to feelings of overwhelm, keyed up, frustrated, sad mood, isolation or complete shutdown from everything. That fact of the matter is it’s unbalanced.  Find time for REST, it’s productive and necessary for your mental wellness.  

One way to achieve quality REST is through a balanced schedule., a mix of work and play, family and friend, reading several chapters to a book and binge watching TV, you get it.  Remember the importance of having necessary clarity of the mind to discern which responsibility we should take on which one needs to wait.

How will you schedule time for REST this weekend?

With Balance & Wellness,

Shayla Peterson, LCSW, LISW-CP