Ctrl Shift Adulting
How Do You Adult?
3 Quick Strategies when dealing with Adulting & Anxiety
‘Adulting’ – how exactly do you do it?
It’s weird, isn’t it? We all age without much effort. ‘Adulting’ isn’t something that comes naturally to a lot of us. Becoming an adult, however you define it, doesn’t happen overnight. It requires continuous learning. Not just learning how to be a ‘real’ adult, but also learning how to cope with new realities and not letting adulthood destroy your mental health.
If you’re a young adult and you feel like you’re struggling, know that you’re not alone.
Your mental health faces some of its biggest challenges in young adulthood. Whether it be self-consciousness, depression, FOMO, anxiety, or dealing with uncertainty about the future, this stage in your life can be a very trying time.
So, how do you deal with it? How do you deal with ‘adulting’ and all the anxieties that seemingly come with it?
Accept yourself.
Do you feel like no one ‘gets’ you? Have you always felt like you never quite fit in? Do you feel sidelined or left out of ‘mainstream’ society?
Accepting yourself is often easier said than done. But please know that there’s acceptance out there, truly. And it needs to start with you. Accept yourself and you’ll find others who’ll love you for you, too.
Yes, you might feel confused, intimidated, and lonely at times. But, know that there’s a place – and a community – out there that will make you feel safe and appreciated for who you truly are.
Practice self-care every day.
Self-care is exactly what it sounds like – doing little things every day to take care of yourself. Self-care doesn’t have to be anything complicated to make a difference. Getting a good night’s sleep, engaging in physical activity, and eating healthy meals – are some things you can do to improve your overall physical and mental health.
Aside from those, you should also do other things you enjoy. Binge-watch your favorite TV show. Get a massage. Jam to your favorite songs. Whatever it is, just make sure to do something that you truly enjoy.
Seek professional help.
There’s absolutely no shame in seeking professional help for your mental health. After all, you seek medical help when you’re physically unwell. So why not seek help when you’re struggling emotionally and mentally?
Whatever you’re struggling with – be it self-esteem issues, or anxiety – know that there’s help available. Talking about your mental health issues not only provides you with guidance. But can also help you better understand your emotions and how to deal with them.
The Struggle is Real, but the key is how we react to the struggle
Adulting can be a struggle, but dealing with your mental health doesn’t have to be.
If you feel uncomfortable with counseling, give yourself some time to think about it. In the meantime, practice self-care. Learn to accept yourself and allow yourself to feel your emotions. And when you’re ready, know that there’s always help available to you.
Are you ready to talk to someone? Schedule a consultation today.
With Balance & Wellness,
Shayla Peterson, LCSW
Ctrl Shift Lies
You're Lying to Yourself: Don't Believe Everything You Think.
Have you become a master at fooling yourself. Your brain knows what to tell you so you can justify to yourself taking the comfortable path through life. Your capacity to deceive yourself is almost unlimited. Unfortunately, these lies come home to roost eventually. There's a price to be paid for believing a lie. You've been paying it for years.
FREE yourself from the lies you tell yourself. Check out the top 8 lies that you may be telling yourself on a regular basis.
1. I must wait for the perfect moment to act. This is just an excuse to procrastinate. When this lie runs through your head, ask yourself what you're afraid of. You can be certain you're avoiding something. It may be the fear of failure or the fear of hard work. Ask yourself what you're avoiding and why.
2. I don't feel like it. This one might be the truth, but it's irrelevant. If it needs to be done, it needs to be done. If you only do things when you feel like doing them, many things will never be completed properly. If you wait until the eventual time crunch forces you to act, your results will be poorer than if you had acted sooner.
3. I lack the right personality to do what I want to do. Perhaps your dream is to be a standup comedian but you feel you're too introverted. There are successful people in every possible field you can imagine with completely different personalities. You can be an extroverted librarian or an introverted politician. It's easy to find successful people with the "wrong" personality for their field.
4. I'll do it tomorrow. How many times have you told yourself that one? How many times were you wrong? In most cases, you're putting it off because the thought of doing it now makes you uncomfortable. That's unlikely to change tomorrow. Have the courage to tackle it right now and get it off your back. Think about how much better you'll feel after it's done.
5. I must follow the rules. There's a difference between laws and rules. Breaking a law can land you in jail. Breaking a rule might make someone upset. The most successful people have managed to break the rules in a positive way. When everyone follows the rules, nothing changes.
6. People that care about me should agree with me. Do you always agree with them? You should be able to expect the people that care about you to support you. There's no reason why they should always agree with you. Be confident in your decisions.
7. Being busy means I'm getting things done. We've all lived days full of activity where little was accomplished. Accomplishing a lot requires spending time and effort on the right activities. It's easy to spin your wheels and wear yourself out with little to show for it.
8. I should always be able to enjoy my life. This might be possible in theory, but most of us aren't enlightened enough live this reality today. Bad things happen and must be managed. Enjoying your life doesn't excuse the need to take care of your business. You'll have days without enough time to enjoy yourself. You might have to give the dog a bath even though you'd rather watch the ball game. Everyone lies to themselves. Fooling yourself is one of the easier things you do each day, but when you deny your own truth, you limit your potential. Recognize the damage done by the lies you tell yourself. They might bring you comfort today, but you'll pay for them tomorrow with your discomfort.
Be Well and Balance,
Shayla Peterson
Ctrl Shift Self Love
9 Ways to Shift into Self-Love
Loving yourself might sound a little odd, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t critical. The more you love yourself, the better you will take care of yourself. That impacts your health, longevity, self esteem, self-confidence and success.
When you love yourself, you make yourself a priority. The truth of the matter, you deserve nothing less.
As you embark on this journey of self love, here are key things to remember:
Remember your Victories. View yourself in a positive light more often, One of the easiest way to do this to remember your triumphs. Maybe you won the oratorical contest in the 2nd grade or perhaps your won a track meet in 10th grade. Remember your high school graduation. Think about the day you received that promotion. Easy to fall in the trap of remembering our failures. Try practicing the opposite and see what happens.
Volunteer. Volunteering is a great way to boost your self-esteem. It is easier to love yourself when you see yourself as a good person. Put your attention on someone else. You will enjoy the mental break and your opinion of yourself will get a boost. You are a good person, so remind yourself of that from time to time.
Be a good friend. You know how to be a good friend, but there are times that you are not. Being a good friend make you feel good about yourself. It will also improve the way your friend view and treat you, too Everyone win when you decide to be a good friend.
Forgive yourself. You made a few mistakes. Who hasn’t? However, it is time to forgive yourself. GIve yourself a break. You would do the same for someone else you care about, so do it yourself.
Pursue what you need rather that what you want. What you want is rarely what your need. Once you have take care of your needs, you will be a better position to acquire what you want. Satisfying your needs is a prime example of self love.
Take care of your body. When you are eating poorly and not receiving enough exercise, you are harming yourself. And this is not an example of self-love. Show yourself some love and take your health seriously. You are loving yourself every time that you eat a healthy meal or exercise your body.
Appreciate that your are unique and wonderfully made. Often times as women, we get embarrassed about our qualities, skills and abilities that unique. Remember, that the most valuable part of you are the ones that different from others.
Practice an attitude of gratitude. Be grateful for your body, mind and uniqueness. Practice being grateful for everything in your life. You life is better than you think. You are better than you think. As you practice being grateful daily, you will start to believe that you deserve more love from yourself.
Be kind to yourself as you would be to anyone else. To be kinder to others than you are to yourself is just showing everyone, including yourself that you don’t respect yourself. At the end of the day, there may be no one looking out for you. You will have to take on this responsibility yourself.
Self Love is an important part of yourself development. WIthout self-love your success and happiness will continue to face huge obstacles. Self love is a skill that can be develop. It is also a result of an effective set of habits. Set aside some time each day to build your self-esteem and self-love. You life will be balanced and better because of it.
Be Balance & Well,
Shayla